Want to write about so much but don’t know how or where to begin. I guess I should begin at the moment where I decided I should start a blog. There are so many sides to me that I always feel like I am pulling myself in a million different directions at once. It’s always been this way and its because I’ve always felt like there is something I am missing in my life. There is a void that needs to be filled with something that I know will bring me great happiness. I just don’t know what it is and I get stuck here always starting new ventures and never following through. I hate that I begin new thing and then midway I get bored or realize “this just isn’t for me”, so I quit. Like this blog, for example I may be really good at writing about things for a bit but then I will slowly lose interest and all together just forget about it. I hate this about myself and yet cannot break this bad habit. I just feel as though it cause I haven’t found “my thing”. Where I belong.
I have always felt as though there is something special I am meant to be doing. I don’t know what and I feel as though I’m getting older and losing track or my direction to whatever will fill the void I have. Have you ever tried to remember something but just couldn’t. Like it was on the tip of your tongue but you just couldn’t quite get it. Then one minute you remember and that moment of absolute fulfillment hits you. For that instant it becomes such a release of the tiny burden. I have been feeling like that all my life and have yet to reach that fulfilling moment where I have found what it is I need to be doing. I’ve tried my hands at so many things and they’re always the wrong thing and I know this because they never give me that “AH-HA!” moment. I am hoping that perhaps maybe this blog will be it. I have other little projects that i am also currently working on. But I would like for this blog to be a daily journal, you could say. I want to document everything and maybe along the way this will help me find myself. Maybe even a few new friends along the way.
If anyone out there has ever felt this way or still does, let me know. At least I wold know I’m not the only one.